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Lessons from the Flutters in my Stomach

The ultimate purpose of a relationship is to contribute to each other's success. Eventually, that's what sets our minds at ease.

Humans are the smartest yet unpredictable beings that have ever existed. With time, we heal, grow, and journey through life-changing phases in this one-shot, at the life we have. Our manifold capabilities make us highly intelligent and unique, but the thing that I firmly believe sets our roots on to someone/something and keeps us going is Love and Trust. Sounds cliche, right? Well, I won’t deny it, but I do know that love and trust is what taught me a few of life’s greatest lessons that lead to life helping insights.

"At every stage of life, you learn more than you think. The lessons in your life come from experiences and memories created, depending on the people you have surrounded yourself with. And when you learn from your experiences over time, clarity eventually becomes prominent in life."

This blog is about my relationships that have impacted my life, and mainly about the lessons I had to learn the hard way.

The ups and downs I’ve had in my acquaintances have contributed immensely in molding me into who I am today. It is what gave my life meaning and what made me think differently in taking the routes I’ve taken today. My acquaintances have not just been a part of my life, paved a path for me as well.

The heebie-jeebies in my Relationships

Back in the seventh grade, I had my first crush. Looking at how my parents loved each other made me dream about having the kind of relationship they had. To spend the rest of my life with someone that I love felt like an achievable dream to me.

Rewinding to the seventh grade, I never really had the guts to confess to my first crush. I'd simply spend time with her, feeling content in her company. It was all bright skies and sparkles until we moved to the next teenage phase of life–high school. We grew distant eventually.

Onto the exciting phase of pre-university, I happened to become friends with a girl who became my best companion in no time. Our bond over the years was paced at a whole new level that I trusted and went along with her ideas of finding me a soulmate. She tried her best to set me up with my crush from the seventh grade, but it was barely possible to succeed since my old crush, and I belonged to different colleges.

Surprisingly, the girl I ended up falling in love with turned out to be my very best friend who tried to set me up. It sure sounds hilarious as I recall it now for this blog, but she did give me many memories to make and experience. I couldn't have been happier to be in a relationship with my best friend until our parents had to intervene and break us apart. I was devastated, but we had to move on.

The relationship that our parents were against took a toll on me. I wrecked myself for about a year, trying to get over her. It was such a sad state that alcohol consumption and depression became my constant loop of misery. Thankfully, after a year or so, I managed to pick myself up and change for the greater good because I still had my career dreams to achieve, and this sure wasn't the end.

I switched from being a chronic alcoholic to a Yoga lover, and the more I spent time meditating, the more I felt my mind am at ease. Over time, the changes I experienced made me a much better, kinder, and healthier person, and I give myself a good pat on the back for achieving this.

The Perfect Vibe/ Vibes Matter

After a short break, I moved to the university for pursuing my graduation and then I met this marvelous, cheerful, and energetic girl in the same university. Although she seemed like a kind and soft-hearted person, she was a tough one. It took me an entire year trying to get her to finally give go out with me. So I guess the hard work eventually did pay off.

Our relationship was flawless, so I did my best to keep things that way. Everything went so smoothly, with small fights that would end in less than five minutes and more love thriving within us. We grew closer than ever, and it pained to even think for a second about us being apart. And that's when I made up my mind and decided that it was this woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Now that I've experienced the ideal type of love I'd always wanted, it was time for me to start focusing on my career. At one point, I had to dedicate most of my time and effort to the startup I was planning to create, and it was hard to balance my love life and work life.

There even came the point wherein I slipped away from the harsh realities around me because I was solely focused on my startup. Little did I know that my dreams of the life I've wanted would shatter into pieces. The woman I loved left me, my loved ones turned their backs on me, and work felt like living in a dungeon. My old habits sprouted back in no time, and I had to face massive downfalls on my own.

I'm a Civil engineer, just like my father. Young love in a university seemed too good to be true, but the memories I've made were rock-solidly unforgettable. I came across wonderful mentors who I still look up to, and I'm grateful to have them be a part of building my career.

A Sharing partner turned to Love

My health deteriorated to an extent where I had to visit my doctor thrice a month, followed by a few surgeries and checkups. During those rough times, I met a friend who grew very close to me that I feared I might lose her if we were in a relationship. I didn't want to go through it all again. But something told me that this could work and that this relationship would be different. We decided to give it a shot anyway.

Our relationship was short-term, but I have no regrets because it did turn out to be different from my previous relationships. We enjoyed each other's company and cherished our bond, but there came the point where we had to put an end to it. The decision was mutual, and it seemed like a healthy end to a short-lived yet wonderful relationship. So we decided to cherish the bond of friendship we shared for as long as we could.

On my 26th birthday, I made up my mind to put an end to all this misery and despair. I promised myself to keep working on the parts that caused turbulence in my life and mold my habits and routines to enhance my productivity. Every second lost back then needed to be made up for.

I learned from my mistakes and the relationships with the people I've had, and I'm profoundly grateful to have come this far, pushing my startup business up the ladder one step at a time. Here's what I'd like to share with you about the things I learned and the things that helped me seek a peaceful life:

  • From my very first crush, I learned not to wait in order to execute. Instead, act now and then wait for an outcome rather than wait around hoping for a miracle.

  • From my relationship in pre-university, the best thing I learned was to listen to yourself first. Your opinions and thoughts need to be given first priority. If required, a little assistance from your loved ones can help you make better decisions. Personal choices are for you to decide on, so don't let someone else make a choice for you. Even your parents.

  • From my third and most important relationship, I've learned things the hard way. Never take your partner for granted despite all the commitments and responsibilities you have to fulfill in your life. A relationship is a two-way street where trust and compromise are vital to deal with challenges together. I also learned not to project your insecurities on your partner because they also have a life with their own problems. And finally, being there for each other no matter what goes wrong is essential, irrespective of the kind of relationship you have.

  • A good friend can help you during your hard days, and you may get more attached to such a friend who understands and cares for you. From my last and short-lived relationship, I learned how to be patient and understand the ups and downs that can alter your path in life.

It's always a wonderful feeling to fall for the vibes that we experience. It's also wiser to think about the plausible ways that may affect you and those around you. Take it slow, and see where it goes.

I've realized that the aftermath of every relationship I've had has only made me a better and stronger person today. I learned to keep myself first and have the courage to walk away from anything that gives you a sense of pain or distrust.

Having experienced love and sorrow, it is essential not to hold any old-time grudges if we need to move ahead in life, and it's imperative to attain peace to live happily. Losing your loved ones sure is painful, but one cannot keep living in regret as we are all on a journey to find ourselves in the process.

Although my tickling senses gave me hopes of experiencing the ideal type of love with someone, my mind was most of the time focused on building a solid career for myself. Doing so gave me the benefit of dreaming about true love and working on setting the right path for myself. In the process, I also had to face collateral damage–broken bonds, losing friends, and being isolated from my loved ones.

Losing ties with people gave me a lot of time to explore myself and my potential to improve my skills. I became a healthier person with almost no bad habits. I follow a regular workout routine to keep my health in check. I mastered many things with time to realize that I needed to put myself first before letting someone in.

On that note, I want to wish everyone the very best life.

"After going through all this, I still believe in true love. It's because I have experienced it from the people I have been with, and it is undoubtedly one of the best feelings worth experiencing."

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